I was squirming as I read the first half of this essay. I felt like an insect under a microscope, being observed closely. I'm sure many others feel the same because this is a collective reality. A few things stood out for me. One, what you said about us treating experiences like acquisitions. It reminded me of the chapter in Four Thousand Weeks in which Oliver Burkeman talks about how the internet and connectedness has opened up whole new worlds and experiences for us, but also simultaneously made us feel our own limitations strongly because there is absolutely no way on earth that we can have all the exciting experiences that are out there. Two, what you said about the pressure to be on top of everything. Build wealth for parents, a future for children, health for ourselves... When I speak to older relatives, I get the sense that most of them didn't think about so much. They made do and did their best within the possibilities life offered. Whereas we now know how many of our contemporaries have FIREd and what causes our blood sugar to spike and who got promoted and every crime and injustice happening to humans and the planet in every corner of the world. We feel like we should know about all of this and not just that, also take steps towards solving/supporting them. It's a lot to deal with. No wonder we feel exhausted.
I like how your coping methods are all about cutting back, slowing down and making meaningful connections. In our bones, we know this is the only way. I think it's mainly FOMO that makes us hold onto old habits that don't serve us well anymore. I am trying to live the next few weeks differently and this essay came just at the right time. Thank you!
Thank you so much Gowri for reading and engaging so meaningfully. I had heard about Four Thousand Weeks, but I am now definitely going to check it out. I am so glad this came to you at the right time, and honestly have mixed emotions about this piece now: Of course, I am pleased it is resonating and I am not alone in feeling this, but also too many people feel this, which does not bode well for us. It seems to be a cycle we are not able to break.
I hope your next few weeks are as fabulous as you intend them to be, and I hope you find time to write your newsletter again (Don't kill me for this please! I will stop accountability now).
Utsav, accountability is ALWAYS welcome! And do pick up Four Thousand Weeks when you feel an inner calling—I believe it is a book that will resonate only when you're in a certain season in life. :)
I am very pleased to hear that, but I would not want you to feel despondent all the while, so please don't make it the wallpaper! That much reality check none of us need daily :P
Glad to know it gave you solace. In the tussle between systemic challenges and personal issues, anything that gives us solace is what we need.
What helped me break out of this - I realized I had vitamin and mineral deficiencies and started eating more raw vegetables. A lot of raw vegetables, like a second lunch. Most of these issues just went away somehow.
Even if tests don't show a deficiency, a lot of us can be helped by vitamin and mineral supplements because just living in pollution or not getting fresh air and exercise or eating processed food brings down your vitamin and mineral levels available for brain regulation.
So many thoughts. But I remember doing the 'writing down my top 10 goals and striking off the bottom 7' exercise at the beginning of this year and can't believe how i still managed to overwhelm myself with 'too much' aspiration. What I realised that there are times when letting go of goal seeking, and being in a state of neutrality helped. I can't explain what that is because of the complexity. But, think of it this way - I am overwhelmed by all the expectations I have from self, so I decide to let go of some things and live a 'slower' life. But then, living slower life becomes a goal in itself and you don't realise when you start rationing time for things like art, etc. As you mentioned - doing art for art's sake. How difficult that is because of the constant pull towards productivity. This topic is so close to my heart. Thank you for writing it beautifully. I hope to live slower and more meaningfully next year, but then I hope to start that project I have been postponing for years too. Haha!
Hi Namit, thank you for taking the time to read and engage so meaningfully. First, kudos that you are already on the path of slowing down. So many of us would like to do so, but few have made progress, so congrats on that!
I've felt this pull of productivity too - one way I have tackled is that I consider art for art's sake as a part of my 'productivity'. I believe it is an essential part of my life, that needs to be done, so now I can make time for it consciously. Not sure if it is the best way to do things though :(
I have no idea what your project is, but I hope you go ahead and do it. Please look up The 6% Club and see if we can be of help.
Thank you for writing this Utsav! It felt like speaking to a friend who understands you. Thank you for putting together a couple of pointers to get started in the right direction.
I always say to my friends that we are a generation burdened with the ambitions of 3. You said the exact same thing. I smiled when I read this, felt heard. Slowing down and doing things that make me content has been my focus for the last few years. Engaging selectively, spending time doing simple things has made me feel content with the life I have built around me.
Next step is to work with people who share my passion for engineering and product design, the hardware kind!
I am thrilled to read this Deepak. Because you are among the few who have not only internalised the idea of slowing down and being intentional but are practising it. You have already chosen satisfaction, and I am sure happiness has followed.
I sincerely hope you get to work with people who share your passion. Something unique will emerge from it. Thank you for reading, writing in and engaging thoughtfully.
Such an amazing piece! Related to almost every part of it and felt like thoughts were being plucked from my brain and put into words. The word "squeeze" is such an apt description for the feeling! Thanks for putting this out there.
Thank you Anand for taking the time to read and engage! I am glad it resonated with you, and very pleased you liked the sketches too. I hope you find some ways to unsqueeze yourself out of this, a hope I have for all of us.
Thank you Ankit for reading and I am glad it resonated with you. I know nothing about you, but if reading this felt like being understood, please remember to be kind to yourself.
It would be an understatement to say this is a thought-through, wonderful, and well-written essay. So, I would say this: Once I started reading it and was at around 15% of the piece, I figured that I would need a notebook and pen with me because it deserves notes. Some things come to you when you need them the most and this is one of those things. I am at that point in my life where I am trying to figure out a few things from scratch and it gave me the most important lesson: Do the smallest possible next step.
Thanks so much for writing this, Utsav! Also, what amazing sketches!
Thank you Nikhil for taking the time to read this thoroughly. I am super pleased to know you found it note-taking-worthy! At most times in my life, taking the next smallest possible step is how I have made progress. And I would be thrilled if you find it useful enough to implement in your life.
Wishing you the very best in your figuring-out journey!
'Take the smallest possible next step' - putting this up on my wall now. Thank you for this timely (year-end) post! Such gorgeous sketches too - inspiring work! I cannot wait to work with you at the 6% Club!
Thank you for your kind words, Karthik! While your ticket to Hogwarts Express may not have arrived yet, you are welcome to join us aboard The 6% Club.
Your essay resonated with me because, as children, we have all thought of escape, even if we were not living through trying circumstances. We believed adulthood was the eventual escape, where we would be free to make our own decisions, only to realise that it comes with its own set of challenges. As you said, 'I was not liking the person I was turning into.' This thought has crossed so many of our minds.
I read this twice (which I rarely do), simply because of how beautifully it captures the reality of our lives. Exceptionally well-written, Utsav. Thank you for this.
Wow, thank you! That is high praise. And I am sorry that you are also going through this. This is the dual feeling I now have about writing this post - How much it resonates feels great personally, but then I think so many of my fellow millennials are feeling this, which means something is seriously off.
Thank you for reading and engaging meaningfully Disha!
Wah! I am a GenX (or whatever it is that comes before being a millennial). I have been fortunate in that I am not dealing with all of these stressful triggers at present, just some, but can totally empathize. A brilliant post Utsav. Loved this line - “It’s not happiness that will give us satisfaction.” It is so thought provoking. And also loved the sketches especially the seascape.
First, I am so glad to hear that you are not dealing with all of it! And thank you for empathizing, and being kind to a millennial (GenX and Millennials have done a poor job of understanding each other). I have over time come to accept that satisfaction is what I need to chase, though I don't always succeed in doing it. Thank you for appreciating my art, I have been hesitant about sharing it in public, so your words go a long way.
I was squirming as I read the first half of this essay. I felt like an insect under a microscope, being observed closely. I'm sure many others feel the same because this is a collective reality. A few things stood out for me. One, what you said about us treating experiences like acquisitions. It reminded me of the chapter in Four Thousand Weeks in which Oliver Burkeman talks about how the internet and connectedness has opened up whole new worlds and experiences for us, but also simultaneously made us feel our own limitations strongly because there is absolutely no way on earth that we can have all the exciting experiences that are out there. Two, what you said about the pressure to be on top of everything. Build wealth for parents, a future for children, health for ourselves... When I speak to older relatives, I get the sense that most of them didn't think about so much. They made do and did their best within the possibilities life offered. Whereas we now know how many of our contemporaries have FIREd and what causes our blood sugar to spike and who got promoted and every crime and injustice happening to humans and the planet in every corner of the world. We feel like we should know about all of this and not just that, also take steps towards solving/supporting them. It's a lot to deal with. No wonder we feel exhausted.
I like how your coping methods are all about cutting back, slowing down and making meaningful connections. In our bones, we know this is the only way. I think it's mainly FOMO that makes us hold onto old habits that don't serve us well anymore. I am trying to live the next few weeks differently and this essay came just at the right time. Thank you!
Thank you so much Gowri for reading and engaging so meaningfully. I had heard about Four Thousand Weeks, but I am now definitely going to check it out. I am so glad this came to you at the right time, and honestly have mixed emotions about this piece now: Of course, I am pleased it is resonating and I am not alone in feeling this, but also too many people feel this, which does not bode well for us. It seems to be a cycle we are not able to break.
I hope your next few weeks are as fabulous as you intend them to be, and I hope you find time to write your newsletter again (Don't kill me for this please! I will stop accountability now).
Utsav, accountability is ALWAYS welcome! And do pick up Four Thousand Weeks when you feel an inner calling—I believe it is a book that will resonate only when you're in a certain season in life. :)
I kind of want to print this piece and make it the wallpaper--of my house. Reading it gave me solace. Thank you for writing this, Utsav!
I am very pleased to hear that, but I would not want you to feel despondent all the while, so please don't make it the wallpaper! That much reality check none of us need daily :P
Glad to know it gave you solace. In the tussle between systemic challenges and personal issues, anything that gives us solace is what we need.
Hahaha okay yes maybe not the wallpaper. A poster perhaps 🙃
What helped me break out of this - I realized I had vitamin and mineral deficiencies and started eating more raw vegetables. A lot of raw vegetables, like a second lunch. Most of these issues just went away somehow.
Even if tests don't show a deficiency, a lot of us can be helped by vitamin and mineral supplements because just living in pollution or not getting fresh air and exercise or eating processed food brings down your vitamin and mineral levels available for brain regulation.
Incredibly well written! Thank you for this :)
Thank you for taking the time to read, Sneha. Pleased to know it resonated with you :)
So many thoughts. But I remember doing the 'writing down my top 10 goals and striking off the bottom 7' exercise at the beginning of this year and can't believe how i still managed to overwhelm myself with 'too much' aspiration. What I realised that there are times when letting go of goal seeking, and being in a state of neutrality helped. I can't explain what that is because of the complexity. But, think of it this way - I am overwhelmed by all the expectations I have from self, so I decide to let go of some things and live a 'slower' life. But then, living slower life becomes a goal in itself and you don't realise when you start rationing time for things like art, etc. As you mentioned - doing art for art's sake. How difficult that is because of the constant pull towards productivity. This topic is so close to my heart. Thank you for writing it beautifully. I hope to live slower and more meaningfully next year, but then I hope to start that project I have been postponing for years too. Haha!
Hi Namit, thank you for taking the time to read and engage so meaningfully. First, kudos that you are already on the path of slowing down. So many of us would like to do so, but few have made progress, so congrats on that!
I've felt this pull of productivity too - one way I have tackled is that I consider art for art's sake as a part of my 'productivity'. I believe it is an essential part of my life, that needs to be done, so now I can make time for it consciously. Not sure if it is the best way to do things though :(
I have no idea what your project is, but I hope you go ahead and do it. Please look up The 6% Club and see if we can be of help.
Thank you for writing this Utsav! It felt like speaking to a friend who understands you. Thank you for putting together a couple of pointers to get started in the right direction.
I always say to my friends that we are a generation burdened with the ambitions of 3. You said the exact same thing. I smiled when I read this, felt heard. Slowing down and doing things that make me content has been my focus for the last few years. Engaging selectively, spending time doing simple things has made me feel content with the life I have built around me.
Next step is to work with people who share my passion for engineering and product design, the hardware kind!
I am thrilled to read this Deepak. Because you are among the few who have not only internalised the idea of slowing down and being intentional but are practising it. You have already chosen satisfaction, and I am sure happiness has followed.
I sincerely hope you get to work with people who share your passion. Something unique will emerge from it. Thank you for reading, writing in and engaging thoughtfully.
Such an amazing piece! Related to almost every part of it and felt like thoughts were being plucked from my brain and put into words. The word "squeeze" is such an apt description for the feeling! Thanks for putting this out there.
Also, really nice sketches!
Thank you Anand for taking the time to read and engage! I am glad it resonated with you, and very pleased you liked the sketches too. I hope you find some ways to unsqueeze yourself out of this, a hope I have for all of us.
Thank you, Utsav. This was beautiful. Reading this felt like being understood.
Thank you Ankit for reading and I am glad it resonated with you. I know nothing about you, but if reading this felt like being understood, please remember to be kind to yourself.
It would be an understatement to say this is a thought-through, wonderful, and well-written essay. So, I would say this: Once I started reading it and was at around 15% of the piece, I figured that I would need a notebook and pen with me because it deserves notes. Some things come to you when you need them the most and this is one of those things. I am at that point in my life where I am trying to figure out a few things from scratch and it gave me the most important lesson: Do the smallest possible next step.
Thanks so much for writing this, Utsav! Also, what amazing sketches!
Thank you Nikhil for taking the time to read this thoroughly. I am super pleased to know you found it note-taking-worthy! At most times in my life, taking the next smallest possible step is how I have made progress. And I would be thrilled if you find it useful enough to implement in your life.
Wishing you the very best in your figuring-out journey!
This was lovely!
Thank you for taking the time to read Sejal. So glad it resonated with you :)
'Take the smallest possible next step' - putting this up on my wall now. Thank you for this timely (year-end) post! Such gorgeous sketches too - inspiring work! I cannot wait to work with you at the 6% Club!
It's such a beautiful coincidence that our essays posted just one day apart are speaking to each other: https://readingthisworld.substack.com/p/stories-unbound
Thank you for your kind words, Karthik! While your ticket to Hogwarts Express may not have arrived yet, you are welcome to join us aboard The 6% Club.
Your essay resonated with me because, as children, we have all thought of escape, even if we were not living through trying circumstances. We believed adulthood was the eventual escape, where we would be free to make our own decisions, only to realise that it comes with its own set of challenges. As you said, 'I was not liking the person I was turning into.' This thought has crossed so many of our minds.
I read this twice (which I rarely do), simply because of how beautifully it captures the reality of our lives. Exceptionally well-written, Utsav. Thank you for this.
Wow, thank you! That is high praise. And I am sorry that you are also going through this. This is the dual feeling I now have about writing this post - How much it resonates feels great personally, but then I think so many of my fellow millennials are feeling this, which means something is seriously off.
Thank you for reading and engaging meaningfully Disha!
Great writing Utsav! Thanks for putting this out
Thank you Rohan for taking the time to read. I am glad this resonated with you :)
Wah! I am a GenX (or whatever it is that comes before being a millennial). I have been fortunate in that I am not dealing with all of these stressful triggers at present, just some, but can totally empathize. A brilliant post Utsav. Loved this line - “It’s not happiness that will give us satisfaction.” It is so thought provoking. And also loved the sketches especially the seascape.
First, I am so glad to hear that you are not dealing with all of it! And thank you for empathizing, and being kind to a millennial (GenX and Millennials have done a poor job of understanding each other). I have over time come to accept that satisfaction is what I need to chase, though I don't always succeed in doing it. Thank you for appreciating my art, I have been hesitant about sharing it in public, so your words go a long way.
This was awe-some! :O
Thank you, Abhishek for taking the time to read. This seems to have touched a chord (nerve?)!
Let's not go there😂
Perfectly depicts life as a millennial, especially, living in Bangalore! Loved the read, thank you!
Thank you for taking the time to read Himanshu. Pleased to know this spoke to you!